CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
Origin of Delivery Goddess


I thought perhaps, I should give details about the way the name "Delivery Goddess" came to be. I was in my late thirties, and I was delivering pizzas on a late summer evening - one where the reflection of the sun against the sky barely lit my surroundings enough to see shadows. I pulled into a driveway where I could almost see some folks sitting out on the front porch by the light of my headlights, which I switched down to parking lights almost immediately - I'd guess there might have been eight or ten people. As usual, I had my oldies station blaring -(that was when Doug Hoerth was still on 1320am on Sunday nights and played the BEST oldies) - but turned it down just before I lifted the pizza from the passenger seat and turned to get out of the car. Over the radio I heard someone say, "The pizza guy's here". I shut the radio the whole way off so I could hear better, opened the door to get out and someone then said, "No - it's a pizza GIRL". Smart allec that I am, I announced, "That's pizza GODDESS to you". They all laughed. We exchanged some cute thoughts - I remember leaving the porch laughing with an above average tip. Not much - but an extra couple of bucks. I repeated the experience to my teenage male co-workers back at the shop, and the title sort of stuck. "Hey - Pizza Goddess", I'd hear on occasion when someone would see me out away from the shop.

Now, that's not quite the end of the story. It was nearly a year later, and on a delivery in a totally different direction, different area, a fellow in a suit opened the door to receive the delivery. The house was a large, nicely kept home; it was full of folks of all ages in dress clothes, but DARK dress clothes, almost as if a funeral, but there appeared to be a lot of alcohol and laughter. I was looking around, taking guesses in my mind as to what was going on, when the gentleman who opened the door scared the DAYLIGHTS out of me..... he yelled, "PIZZA GODDESS!!! THE PIZZA GODDESS BROUGHT OUR PIZZA." The noise in the house dimmed as many faces turned to see the Pizza Goddess. The guy pulled a twenty out of his wallet and handed it to me, just before the Host of the party had a chance to ask what was the total amount for the food. He stood patiently for a few seconds while the first fellow said while handing me the twenty dollar bill, "We have had more fun with that story - I can't begin to tell you.... We tell everyone we know that Vocelli's has the best delivery people. No one has ever been as much fun as you - I'd like to pay you for the enjoyment we've gotten from your visit that night. I never thought I'd see you again." I likened my reappearance to a bad virus, smiled and gave the total to the host while my "tipper" took the boxes of food. The host gave a fairly generous tip as well - I remember there being several extra large pizzas probably totalling over $70 and I think he gave me ten bucks for a tip. Talk about a phrase that pays!!

Bob started calling me the Paper Goddess, and that just slowly rolled over into the Delivery Goddess - so there you have it. The origin of the Delivery Goddess!