Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess |
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Bill's typical greeting was to flash everybody the "bird" ... that was his form of Hello. You learned NOT to be offended, that was just who Bill was. Bill would take more pizza deliveries than he was really permitted on one trip. He drove slow, and he always had friends keeping a beer cold for him at the local Clubhouse where he'd stop between deliveries and grab a swig. Bill's wife died years ago, and for some reason, he mistakenly thought we all enjoyed hearing all of the graphic details about his trips to Texas to see an old girlfriend, whose husband has also been gone for years. Bill was set in his ways - you really couldn't tell him what to do, other than what days he needed to show up to drive. When Bill retired from pizza delivery, he was 87 years old. He's now 92, still spunky and outspoken, still driving (not delivering pizzas, though) and still hanging out at the Clubhouse with his beer buddies who are generally about fifty years his junior. Keep that picture in your mind... at the time of this story, Bill was around 83 or 84 years old. One Saturday night, between dinner rush and bar rush, Nick answered the phone to take an order. He said it was difficult to hear through all of the girls' giggling, but he finally figured out what they wanted to eat, and they requested it be delivered by the sexiest stud we had working there. You can see where this is going, right? Nick told Bill that this was some kind of pajama party or sleep over or something, and they asked for the sexiest stud we had working. Bill's grin reached the entire width of his face that night. Smoke poured from his hairy, elongated ears while his brain cooked up a good opening line for the girls. It's a shame that cell phones weren't quite so popular yet, we'd have hooked him up with a cell phone so we could hear what was going on. We had to rely on what Bill told us upon his return. He said that before he knocked on the door, he could hear a lot of screaming and giggling. He knocked on the door and waited to see who would answer. He said that many faces crowded the door as it opened, but they all lost their glow when they saw a short, grey, wrinkled old man standing there. He put a HUGE smile on his face, opened his arms in a "Here I am girls" manner and said, "Daddy's here and I'm ready for some action..."!!!! He said they slammed the door shut at first, then after about five seconds, opened the door back up, all of them beginning to laugh again. You'd have to know Bill; I'm sure he tried to push himself on the girls, and I'm equally as certain that they declined. When he returned to the shop, he said it was the highlight of his year, and that if he had to make an intellegent guess, it was probably a batchelorette type party; the girls were all in their early twenties. Only two of them were worth staying for, though, according to Bill. Good Old Bill - always the dirty old man of the shop. |