CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
All Dogs Hate the Paperboy


  When I was a youngster, our paperboy was the fellow who lived about a half mile up the road from us - he was about four years older than I was, and when he got tired of the job, he passed it to his little brother who was about a year older than me. Our dog never liked the young man with the sack slung over his shoulder - both boys tried endlessly to offer treats or a pat on the head, but our dog wanted nothing of it. He barked and snarled and darted toward the boys as they walked up through our yard toward the next neighbor's house. They would always walk just at the end of the chain's reach - not that I blame them - because at least they could become "OUT OF REACH" quickly. Years later, we decided that part of the problem was that when the boys used their bicycles, they always put thier bicycle between themselves and the dog - we caught our dog chasing other kids on bikes and attributed hatred of the bicycles to hatred of the paperboy.

The modern-day paperboy, as you all know, rides around in a car, and delivers to 200 - 400 driveways each night. I encounter joggers and walkers on my route, and also lots of dog-walkers. If we're late, I also encounter teens waiting for their school bus, which is rather disturbing, just because we're that late. For the most part, our time frame for delivery is pretty consistant from week to week; for instance, you might hit Brown Road every Tuesday around 4am, and every Wednesday around 3:40am, then every Thursday around 4:45am and so on. Depending on the day of the week, I encounter the same folks each week. If I am going to be on Yorktown Drive between 5:15am and 5:30am, I usually try to do the route differently; mixing things up to deliver either earlier or later to avoid one particular woman and her small black dog. I'd estimate the dog to weigh about 25 pounds, maybe a little more, but he pulls her around like he weighs about 80 pounds. If I have no choice but to be delivering in that area during the time she's walking her dog, I will back-track or deliver backward (not in reverse, but start at the street I usually do last, working my way toward the first street) in an effort to let her have a peaceful walk. One morning, she had two dogs - I'm not sure if she was dog sitting, or just brave enough to walk both of their dogs that day, but as I got close to her, the dogs began to bark and snarl, then tangle themselves up like a cartoon with rope and tails flying. I could see the dispair in the woman's face, so I got out of my truck to try and help her, but she managed to get them under control before I reached her. I talked to her breifly that morning - she claimed that other cars and trucks can drive by them in the mornings, but there is something about my pick-up truck that drives the dog crazy. Just me, and only me. Since that ten second encounter, I have tried harder to get through that housing plan either before 5:15 am or wait until after 5:30 - I do not want to be responsible for a shoulder replacement for this poor woman.

Perhaps I should resort to carrying milk bones like I did when I delivered pizzas. Hmmm...