Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess |
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Guessing what kind of customer you have is always a challenge. There are those like Bob and I who are trusting and optimistic, (many of our friends call us naive) and those who think the world is watching their every single move the second they walk out the door. My mother taught me over and over again - "Don't be so vane as to think that anyone is paying any attention. No one cares." Good words to live by - makes me more humble than the poor sap who's mother said to them every day out the door, "That's what you're wearing? What do you think your friends will say about you behind your bacK?" Poor kids. There are those who are totally paranoid if their paper lays in their driveway or tube for even one day, "What if someone thinks I'm not home and breaks in?" These folks probably live under Fort Knox conditions. If we as paper carriers make a mistake and out of habit throw the paper for even one day, these folks are spastic, and are certain a robber is waiting at the end of the street. Trust me - no one is paying any attention... nobody cares. So, what should we do if papers start to pile up at a residence, but we haven't gotten a vacation stop for that address? Your guess is as good as mine. Half the time, these are the paranoid folks who have a fit because someone might have known they were gone for three days over a weekend and were waiting to break in and steal everything. OR, they might be the folks who said to each other, "Eh - we're only going away for three or four days - no sense stopping the paper, they'll all be here when we get back". You know what's coming, right? No matter which guess you make, it will be the wrong one. That leads to the title, "How High Can you Count?" For those of you reading along daily, remember the guy who was going to keep two dollars from me because the pizzas weren't right (Enough Pepperoni?) If not, you should go back and read that one to get the full scope of this customer. When I took over the paper route, he was a seven-day customer. All was well for a few weeks, but then, the papers started to pile up. I called the manager who checked the computer and said that they were not on vacation, so I continued to deliver. After eleven days, I chose to stop delivery; I thought they might have changed their minds about wanting the paper. The next day, I got a complaint that they had not received a "yesterday's" paper. When I got there, all eleven papers were still laying in the driveway, so I threw a today's and a yesterday's paper. I continued to count. At nineteen, I stopped the paper again - but again, received a complaint that he did not get yesterday's paper. Now... how on EARTH does this guy know that I skipped him? Is he taking pictures of the papers daily and comparing, because after that many days, how could you possibly know which ones are new or old? He was obviously counting, or he would not have known that any papers were missing. After the twentieth day, the second time I skipped him, I threw a today's and a yesterday's paper on the 21st day, and on the 22nd day, he picked up all of the papers. He was testing me. Things were smooth for weeks. Once again, the papers started piling up. I waited until about the 14th or 15th day - after the second Sunday - I skipped a Monday paper, and he again called in a missed paper. After he was satisfied that I was going to throw both papers the following day, he switched over to a Sunday-only customer. If you have nothing better to do - I have some chores at my house you could get started on... seriously! |