Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess |
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January 16, 2011 I'll admit to being a pantywaste, if you'll help me understand why men's and women's clothing is so different? Hear me out... My mother gave up on putting me in dresses early in my life. The only way she could get me to wear dresses to kindergarten was to wear pants underneath. What's the point? In my early grade school years, my mom found that boys clothes were typically cheaper than girls clothing, and boys clothes took a harder beating, so ... why not? Who cares if one of my second-grade classmates left early one day, crying because the kids teased him that he and I were wearing the same shirt? Didn't bother me. As I've grown and started picking out my own clothes, I've found that my shape seems to fit better into mens clothing, and they are still more durable. My feet seem to be too wide for women's shoes. Think about it - our feet are not shaped like arrow heads, are they? My great grandmother's toes layed one over top of the other by the time she was in her sixties because she spent a lifetime of wearing those pointy shoes that the designers dictate women should wear. Oh, sure, I have plenty of pairs of high heeled, pointy-toed shoes,  and no, I didn't find THOSE in the men's department, but for my boots and Keds, I'm browsing the men's department options. Women: Want to know a secret? The knit "tossle" hats are warmer if you buy them in the hunting department. Oh, c'mon - don't tell me you're too VAIN to wear bright orange or camoflauge, are you? I'm not. Go ahead and laugh, I'M WARM. Women's knit hats are very loosely made and the air whistles through the yarn like a sieve, (but hey - it matches your scarf, right?).A couple mornings ago, I was putting on a pair of pink thermal pants I received as a gift. Yes pink, like someone will see what color of long underwear I have on under two layers of jeans. Why does everything I wear have to be pink? I happen to like purple and black, but those aren't "girly" colors. After getting the thermals on, it takes another two minutes to skirmie around until the seams fall somewhere less binding. I dug my grey men's Long Johns out of the hamper and made some comparisons. The fabric of mens thermal underwear are made with small indented squares, much like a window screen to create a vapor layering effect. The womens have shallow vertical indented lines - pin-stripes if you will - that lend themselves easily to twisting and pulling once they're worn inside a pair of jeans or pants. If you lay the pink liners flat on the floor, they actually lay flat on the floor as if when they were made, there was no consideration taken to natural curves of the human body. My sturdy, grey warmers don't lay flat. The rear panel not only is slightly larger than the front panel allowing for some curves and motion, but the seam at the back is actually two seams with about two inches between the seams. The women's single seam easily gets pulled into the separation in a human being's back-side and is ucomfortable from the time they're put on to the time they're taken off. If you see women on the ski slope squirming, it's because they think wearing pink under their clothes is more attractive, even if they aren't made ergonomically correct. And what's with mens overalls or snow suits being able to unzip from the top down AND the buttom up? Does that mean I'm not supposed to have nice heavy felt-packed boots that can be more easily removed with a two-way zipper? Of course it does - have you ever seen nice, heavy, thick, rubber boots with warm felt pack inserts in the women's department? No. We're stuck with thin, sleek, patent-leather-looking vinyl boots with a slight heel that allows our feet to be ice blocks in five minutes flat. And, I have stuff in my pockets, too ... why doesn't the pink or powder blue snow suit I might buy in the women's department unzip at the pockets so I can get to my jeans and get my keys or hankey? Somebody please help me understand... I have always said that I have TWO legs and they are meant to be covered separately, but skirts seem to go all the way back to Neanderthal days on earth. And yes.... those ARE MY boots in the picture above, and Snoopy is still the coolest dude ever! |