CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
One MORE Question?


You all know we work at night delivering newspapers. Likewise, I'm sure most of you have, by now, used one of the modern gas pumps that allows you to swipe your plastic at the pump so you don't have to go inside. I suppose it was meant to be one more contribution to our fast paced world, but not only has it saved me time, it has saved me a heap of money by not being tempted to buy a candy bar and chocolate milk while inside. Obviously there are pros and cons to the modern digital world.

During the wind storm this past week, the one that covered half of the United States as it moved eastward, I climbed into my truck at 1:30am in the less than tropical weather, only to be greeted by the bright orange glow of the LOW FUEL idiot light. Yep - I'm the idiot that didn't stop yesterday to get gas when it was a little warmer and a lot less windy. I grumbled in harmony with the battery as the engine slowly turned over, "the last thing I want to do is get out of the truck again in THIS bitter wind!!" In less than sixty seconds on the road, it started to snow... horizontally past my windshield. The truck was barely warm as I pulled into the gas station. Not only is each brand of gasoline different with their rewards and perks and companion grocery store promotions, but it seems like each station is different as well. When I opened the door, the wind blew my hair out horizontally so that I closed the door on it... "ouch". My frozen fingers fumbled to get my debit card out of my back pocket - quite a challenge with four layers of shirts and sweatshirts hanging nearly to my knees to keep warm. Wait, no - the magnetic strip is facing the wrong way. What's this? Do I have a grocery card? NO. Do I want to buy a car wash? ARe you kidding me??? NO, I do NOT want a car wash, I just want gasoline. Another question? Do I want a receipt? At THIS point, I want the throat of the person who programmed countless unnecessary questions into a stinking gas pump. It's twenty five degrees with a wind chill of ten or fifteen below zero. How many more questions before I can just have my gasoline? One more- Debit or Credit? WHICHEVER ONE WILL START THE PUMP, doggone it! Finally, the pump starts. Filling the tank seems to take just long enough to avoid my hand, though cold, from sticking to the colder metal gas pump nozzle. My hands stayed in that position for at least a couple of minutes before enough blood flowed back into my fingers so I could open my hand.

So, I ask you... (and don't tell me you didn't see this coming...) How many questions does it take to start a gas pump?