CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess





Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.



Rod Through the Block


Bob's son also has a paper route, so it's genuinely a family affair. A few years ago, he was driving a two-wheel drive mini-pick-up truck, and as usual, with bald tires. Seems that all paper carriers have bald tires within the first three or four weeks of buying a new set - doesn't take long to leave the tread in the culdesacs at 40mph. It was the fall we had that rained every day for what seemed like three months straight. I think it was probably three weeks, but, when you're delivering papers, you have no choice but to have your window down, and as outlined in a previous installment (Half Droopy), half of you gets cold and wet no matter what you do, so one rainy day can seem like a week. Chad's route is mostly back roads and rural areas without street lights, berms, guard rails and houses. Lack of houses on a paper route can be a bad thing for profitability and gas useage. One night, Chad called to tell me he'd hit a tree - he was alright, but he couldn't drive the truck away. I left my route, and went to see what I could do to help. McIntyre Road is narrow, sparsely populated and completely void of any streetlights, and on a cloudy, rainy night, even your high beams don't seem to be enough light. There is a section of the road that has a gentle left bend ... then straightens out for about 25 feet, just long enough to have a bridge over a small creek, then a sharper left bend after the bridge. The bridge is one of those with solid cement, jersey-barrier-style sides that hide what's on the road ahead. In the shadows, just at the end of the bridge, was a water-logged dead tree, laying across the road. I'll bet it was about two feet across in diameter - it was not a small tree by any means. Even at ten miles per hour, there would have been no way to avoid hitting this tree. There was no way to see it ahead of time - no lights, no way to see through the bridge ... the massive amounts of rain had weakened ground around the dead roots enough to allow it to just topple over. The whole front end was smashed. We called the police so we could get a tow truck to pull the tree out of the way, and tow Chad's truck to our house. While we waited for them to arrive, we joked about the fact that the engine had started to knock about a month prior, and it was just a matter of time before he was going to throw a rod through the block anyway, so now, he'd HAVE to get an engine. The police came fairly quickly and called the towing company with which the municipality has an agreement. While one officer was jotting down information, the other one chatted with us. He said that it was a good thing the tree hadn't been across the road a half hour ago - he'd come flying through there himself, and probably would have died in the process. He mentioned how dark it was, and that there was no way for Chad to see the tree ahead of time, and that he was lucky to have bald tires because ... if he was delivering papers, he probably would have been going a lot faster. We laughed and agreed - both knowing that everyone exceeds the 25mph speed limit on that road. The cop also noted that the tree had fallen and hit the side of the bridge, first, then slid down onto the short guard rail at the end of the bridge. If the tree had remained on the edge of the bridge, it would have gone through Chad's windshield, and who knows how much it might have injured the driver. Talk about guardian Angels! I have pictures on an old hard drive that I can't access anymore, but if I ever find a way to get the pictures off, I'll include one with this story.

After we went back the next day, and I took pictures of the truck and the tree, I made Chad a card with the pictures saying... "You finally put a rod through the block ..... A BIG WOODEN ONE".

He sold the truck shortly there after - too much money for us to fix up. Someone who deals with cars, and has the tools to swap engines and body parts could make the truck useful again. What a shame.

On an additional and similar note... the next night, another carrier called into the depot to report that he would be late finishing his route. He had to call a tow truck, then go home and get another car. He was driving on a more populated, and more well lit road when a tree actually FELL OVER ON HIS CAR while he was driving. Right across the hood. He was physically OK - but was emotionally pretty shaken up, (understandably so). It was just a bad year for trees, I guess.