CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
Junker
January 30, 2011


  At the risk of offending at least half of my readers, I'll admit I'm not much of a "cat person". I feel bad, but I've just never been very passoinate about cats - perhaps it has much to do with a nerve problem I'm beginning to realize I have, and no matter how much I try to talk myself out of it, I can't seem to make myself tolerate constant noise, ... like windshield wipers ... left, right, left, right, swish, swash, swish, swash, screetch, scratch... I just can't take it. Of course, seeing is more important, so I only run wipers while I'm actually driving. And noise - I HATE constant noise. A ticking clock... windshield wipers fall into this category, too. The worst is the dog licking his feet ... or a cat. A cat licking himself is hard on my nerves. Constant noise, constant motion. Both evils. Meet Junker: This is our junkyard cat (couldn't tell by his name, now could you?) I don't believe I've ever seen this cat when he's NOT cleaning himself. A few months back, we had a ground mole running through the office. The mole was stealing bits of dog or cat food and carrying them one piece at a time from my office to his hole in the wall out in the other office. He skittered along the baseboard of three rooms to get from point A to point B - probably a total of forty or fifty feet. That's pretty hard work for one piece of food at a time! For almost three weeks straight, when I arrived to work every morning, the phone was not working. The mole would run across the top of the baseboard, from where the phone jack pertruded. Our stealthy mole would pull the phone cord out of the jack as he pittered across the top of it. I finally got smart and stuck a toothpick in with the phone line, forcing it to make connection. Shortly after my brain storm, the dog we kept in the office stayed at home, hence, no more food for the mole. One afternoon, I walked through the house, (our junkyard office is inside an old farm house) and Junker was sitting on top of a table, licking himself. The mole was aimlessly darting around on the floor, and finally made about twenty circles around the leg of the table. Junker, with one back foot extended straight up into the air, stopped what he was doing for about two seconds, tops, and watched the mole ring around the table leg twice; then went back to bathing.

Just last week, Mr. M, who lives part time in one of the bedrooms above the office in the farm house at the junkyard, said he could hear a mouse chewing on something at the foot of his bed in the middle of the night. He tried to ignore it, but it got to be too loud to ignore. He turned on the light to get up, open his door and find the cat, but Junker was already snoring soundly at the foot of his bed.

Can you say "useless cat?" I guess he's just fed too well to be worried about something as challenging as a mouse or ground mole!