CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
Prepared for Nuttin'


Years ago, I was parked at Eat-n-Park, way back when - when we were allowed to take half of the sunday papers with us on saturday, (if we chose to leave our vehicle packed all day Saturday for Sunday delivery) - the back and front seats of my truck were packed to the roof. Bob and I walked out of Eat-n-Park as another patron was getting out of his car to enter the restaurant. The gentleman watched me walk toward my truck, and when he was sure I was the driver, he said, "I guess you deliver papers." Smart allec that I am, I replied, "ya think?" After the fact, a really good "come -back" crossed my mind. I should've said, "no, I just like to read." Now that I'm prepared, no one has ever said that to me again.

One of the typical smart remarks people use when someone is staring at them is, "What are YOU looking at?" Since I was taught that staring is impolite, I'm more than conscious about staring at other people. At a family gathering once, though, an Inlaw, to whom I was paying burning attention since I can't hear one person speak in a room cluttered with people talking, glanced at me and blurted out, "What are YOU lookin' at?!" I allowed my face to stiffen and said, "I'm not sure, but when I figure it out, you'll be the first to know." The room got silent for a split second, then roared with laughter. So, now that I have a really great come-back for "What are YOU lookin' at?" ... nobody's ever asked me that again.

I have, as I'm sure we all do, little things like that for which I'm prepared, and never get to use. I'd like to pass along one I use often, although, I had a response once for which I don't believe I'll ever have a whitty reply in return. Years ago, a good friend in high school gave me a birthday card to the most "Terri-fic" person she knew. She was well-read and smart, and this was something I'd have never thought of on my own, I'm sure. But I have taken full advantage of her revelation regularly. When on the phone, and people ask me how to spell my name, (since Terri can also be spelled "Terry"), I tell people, "I'm the first five letters of the word 'TERRI-ble'. " People laugh and say how cute, etc. One time, the fellow at the other end said, "But, my wife's name is 'TERRI'." So, I quickly said to him, "Well, sir, I'm certain that she is the first five letters of the word 'TERRI-fic'. " He replied, "Wow, you got me!!". Now, the fellow who stumped me on my name-gimick asked me to spell my last name, also. I smartly replied, "Lincoln - Like Abraham." Usually, that flies right through without a hitch. But THIS fellow replied in return, "I failed History, can you spell it for me?" ... OK - he "got" me. I had NO response, except to just stupidly spell my last name. Years later, I thought I could perhaps have replied, "You've never seen a penny?" - but as usual, NOBODY'S EVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN.

For some things... I remain ... "PREPARED FOR NUTTIN'!"