Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess |
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I've decided there must have been a disturbance in the force this past Saturday. I swear that every paper I threw was attracted to a plant that had a flower attached. I don't care if it was a tree with a flower, or a flowering potted plant - I chopped off more flowers on Saturday morning than a crew of pre-teens on Mother's Day. If I'd have kept all of them, I would have had a really huge, very colorful bouquet. Of course, I had to keep getting out of the car and picking up the evidence, and tossing the paper onto the driveway, or sidewalk or porch ... I think the final straw - the final toss that let me know for sure that every flower on my route had turned on some kind of gravitational-like force that sucked in the paper, was a bagged paper I threw toward a porch that took a wierd flip in the wind, and grazed the pole light in the front yard. I was already in reverse and starting to back up when I noticed the empty bag hanging from the pointed tip of the lamp, and caught a glimpse of the last few sheets of paper floating down, opened, and draping themselves over the window-type boxes hanging on the waste-high fence that bordered the cement-pad porch. I sat for thirty seconds, first in disbelief, then another thirty seconds in indecision; should I get out and try to save this or not? I finally decided I could not reach the bag hanging from the top of the light pole anyway, so I just tossed another one, and hoped that either the resident was taller than I, or had a handy step-stool to pull down the bag. There was a light wind, so I'm guessing the paper draped on the flowers as if it were going to frost in the middle of August blew away before the resident got up, since I never did get a complaint about it. I was supsrised, but had just about hit TILT when this incident happened, so I decided to just leave it and move on. Apparently, since I chose not to fight this one, the force subsided. I don't think I hit one more flower after that, although, I only had about 25 papers left to throw at that point. I believe I've mentioned this before, but Buddy Hackett, a comedian from a few years back ... ok, a couple of decades back ... said during an interview on the Mike Douglas Show, "I hate the days when the inanimate objects win." In this case, I think the flowers suffered a major loss, the newspapers celebrated a major victory, and my nerves packed up for Hawaii. |