CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
Road Rage Renegade


After being tailgated a week or so ago by someone who was OBVIOUSLY annoyed with being behind someone going only five miles per hour over the speed limit, I remembered an incident from almost twenty years ago that still makes me laugh. Last week, this car was so close, I couldn't see the driver, but could see the driver's side mirror every few seconds as the car weaved right and left trying to persuade me to "step it up a bit." Someone once told me that patience is a virtue.

When married to my first husband, Dave, I occasionally kept the car, which meant taking him to work and picking him up afterward. Dave followed closely the theory "if you're not the lead dog, the view is all the same," so he spends most of his driving time in the passing lane. A few times over the course of two weeks, we ended up with this same lady brunette in a dark green Subaru hatchback behind us, swerving right to left, and shaking her fist while she mouthed off at us. On the way home, it was pretty much bumper to bumper traffic, all travelling at about 40-45 miles per hour. Dave and I joked about wondering where she thought she was going to go, even if we crumbled under her intimidation and pulled into the driving lane long enough to let her pass by. Route 19 is a four lane road with the speed limit of 40mph, and as I mentioned, we were going the speed limit, but traffic was lined up, and we were in the passing lane. We joked about this gal for a few minutes, when Dave said, "Brace yourself." I was turned sideways in my seat, basically facing him in the driver's seat so that I could see the woman behind us having a fit. When he said, "Brace yourself," I put my right hand on the dashboard and tried to stiffen up. Dave SLAMMED on the brakes for a split second, then floored the car to avoid having her smack into the back of us. Her eye brows were curled downward and inward in anger, she was leaning forward with her chin right over top of the steering wheel. She had one hand on the wheel, and the other in the air shaking her fist. Her mouth was turned down like a fish while she screamed at us - probably a bunch of obscenties that we couldn't hear. Dave hit the brakes. Her eyebrows popped up in suprise, her mouth opened from a fish-like frown to a large round hole gasping for air. Her face appeared to get closer to the windshield, and to avoid hitting us, she swerved out into the oncoming lane - complete with jumping the eight-inch cement medial strip between the north-bound and south-bound lanes. She quickly swerved back in as she closed her mouth and stuck her tongue out in determination. As she regained control of the car behind us, she plastered herself against the windshield and morphed back into the anger face with veins popping out in her face and neck. We never laughed so hard. I would have given anything for five seconds of video, because that's all it took to go from anger, to fear, to Road Rage Renegade.

Glance in your rear view mirror once in awhile - it just might prove to be entertaining.