CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
Pittsburgh Map


  Anyone who lives in here knows the unwritten rule of giving directions around Pittsburgh. If you ask someone from the City of Pittsburgh or its suburbs how to get to an address, you will not get directions, you will get an escort. And, if the person you ask for directions doesn't know where the location is, they can certainly call someone else who will lead you there.

At times when visiting in other cities, Pittsburgh's reputation for an escort, rather than just some directions, seems to be a nationwide marvel. Everyone knows, that if they ask you for direction, and you say -"follow me, I'm heading that way" - you're from the Great Steel Town of Pennsylvania. I've been accused of such a trait almost everywhere I've been. A Pittsburgh Escort isn't without its embarrassments, though. For instance, one afternoon years ago, I attempted to lead a school bus full of kids out of my hometown to a town about 16 miles away. I said "sure, follow me, I'm heading there", jumped in my car and drove right up over one of those cement parking logs commonly found at the head of parking spaces in many parking lots, nearly saddle-bagging the car. My best friend in the passenger seat claimed to need a diaper change (smart alleck). I smiled at the bus driver, shrugged my shoulders and backed over the log again so I could proceed through the actual exit of the grocery store.

On another attempt to lead a carload of teenagers to a friend's house, I offered the same service - "sure, follow me, I'll take you there", only to lead them to a dead end street, one block shy of the street they were looking for. (So? I can read street signs. ... Why bother if you think you know where you're going?)

One other time that stands out in my mind was a time when I felt so proud to be able to show someone to their requested destination. I hopped in my car only to lead them to the McGuffy Building, rather than McGuffy Road - a road of which I'd never heard. It was an unfamiliar town, and when someone asked me for directions, I was pleased with myself for knowing where to take them. Hmph... only to be embarrassed again.

Nowadays, though, the Pittsburgh hospitality goes wasted since everyone now has a GPS or a phone with mapping or GPS capabilities. I wonder if this new digital age will cause us to lose our down-home disposition, and lead to our isolation from one another?