CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
Blue Skies


  I don't know what it was like where you are, but this past Tuesday night into Wednesday morning brought fifty mile-per-hour winds and spritzes of rain for most of the dark hours. It was a record night as I ran over a plastic trash can, two plastic trash can lids, a four-quart aluminum pot (for those of you who are as Betty-Crocker-Challenged as I am, a four-quart pot is about 12" in diameter, and about 6" deep... something like that), a flower pot full of ailing flowers, a pumpkin and a driveway reflector. I don't think I've hit that many things in one night before in my delivery career. The aluminum pot was LOUD, I'm glad it was almost 6am when I hit it in the townhousing plan; there were already a large number of lights on for people getting ready for school or work. Now, most of you have heard me talk, in the past, about Crybaby Condos; as I pull up the driveway in the rain, everything is normal, but wheh I back up, the rain blows onto the INSIDE of the windshield. The rain Wednesday morning was a fine mist, so the inside of my windshield covered over with fine droplets of water and I had a hard time navigating the driveways after the third return trip. Newspaper is generally pretty good at soaking up water, and cleaning grime off of car windows, and thank goodness, I had a good supply of newspaper! At least the newspapers on Wednesday mornings are a bit heavier than, say, a Monday or Saturday. YOu can hurt yourself trying to throw a paper into the wind hard enough that it lands someplace where it won't get blown away. I'll bet you never thought delivering papers could require such high technology. If the wind is blowing from your left to your right, the trick is to find something - mailbox post, light post, shrub, brick wall, etc - to toss the paper up against so it doesn't get blown into the neighbor's driveway or yard. The managers love windy nights like that because there are so many complaints from people who think they didn't get their daily paper. Meanwhile, if they were just a bit adventurous, they'd probably find their paper in their neighbor's yard four houses away.

It was also a record night for blue skies; if you've ever seen a transformer blow up at night, you'll understand what I mean when I say "blue skies at night". Oh, it's a very pretty neon blue color, but at the same time, a sight like that means that someone is going to be without power for awhile. At best count, I saw four transformers fry that night.