CURBSIDE ETIQUETTE

Through the Eyes of a Delivery Goddess



Below you will find links to dates when new entries are added. The stories will not necessarily be in chronological order, but rather as I remember them. I am dating them so that you can skip to new ones you haven't read since the last time you visited, and so that you are more easily able to find something you found humorous to share with others.
A Starting the Year Off Right


Yesterday morning, I started the day with a bit of a scare. Let me set the "scene" for you. I was getting ready to start the paper route. I recently switched banks to one that is less than a tenth of a mile off of my route, and they allow me to drop checks in a night deposit box, so how much more convenient can it be, for me to drop checks in the middle of the night, when I'm out and about already? I was using Bob's car while my truck gets inspected. I pulled into the bank parking lot under a street light at 3:50am, left the car running and put it in park while I signed about a dozen checks. I was using the stack of newspapers between the seats as a desk and had Sports Center chattering on the radio. I had my back slightly turned toward the driver's door while I was writing, stopping on occasion to laugh at the radio. I slipped the checks into an envelope and wrote my name and the words "Thank You" on the front, and licked it shut. I reached for the door handle to open the car door- pushed it open and it bounced back shut. As human nature would have it, I abruptly grabbed the door handle again with the intention of pushing it open harder, but in a split-second "save", noticed the white fender of another car parked less than ten inches from my driver's door. I looked up into the window to find a cop staring back at me with huge eyes. I rolled down my window - he already had his rolled down in preparation of asking me what I was doing parked in the middle of a parking lot with the car running at 4am. I said to him, "Don't ya think you parked a bit close?" He didn't laugh. Gee, I hate cops in the middle of the night that lack a sense of humor. He tried to sound concerned, but as he spoke, I could hear him holding back a small giggle. He said, "Is everything OK?" (Now here's where I deliberatly did something I knew, from past experience, that I shouldn't do...) I slowly opened the door til my mirror touched his, and while holding up the envelope that I had just sealed shut with my deposit, I said, "Just filling out a deposit for the bank here, and dropping it in the night deposit around the side of the building." I worked hard to squeeze out of the car in the ten or twelve inches he allowed between the vehicles. I had to have bent his mirror in the process. I made it though, and shimmied between the front fenders of the cars with my back to the police car. He backed away as I cleared the front bumper of his car. He tapped the blue light, I suppose as an offer of "good-bye", but I never turned around. He was gone by the time I came back around the front of the building. I am suprised first, that he didn't complain about me not looking before I threw open the door, and second, that I got out of the car while I was being questioned by an officer. I have been reprimanded twice before for getting out of the car while I was being stopped or questoined by a policeman, but this time, I decided, since he was being a jerk, so was I.

At least I didn't have to call Bob to "throw my bail"!!! Now THAT'S starting the new year off RIGHT!!!